8:45 pm: “lock me in the cage early, will you?” I groan as Mom attempts to put me in lock down. Oh but I give her a run for her money tonight. Rico goes to her cage easily without fanfare but I run all across the top of my cage to get away from her. As she frantically reaches for me, her big toe catches on the leg of my cage. In an instant, I escape her clutches and scale to the top of my rope perch once again. Looking up at me with frustration and pain, I can almost read her mind: “but this is my baby, my innocent ekkie, my Boo-Boo, my sweet Oogie-Woogums. Why is he acting like this?” My mom has so many names for me it makes my head spin. Oh well. What I would really like to tell her is that her crazy little rendezvous at the karaoke hut is not a valid excuse for incarcerating me, yet again……..
I let her think I have fallen for the old pine-nut trick and head off to the cage. Mom uses pine nuts as a last ditch effort to get me where she wants me….he he he
She thinks she tricks me, but really I trick her into giving me the pine-nut! Such shrewdness, such unimaginable cunning!
As I head into the cage, I hear the sound of clanking metal and a click as the door locks behind me. I barely get my tail feathers inside and the door slams shut. Geez. She gets so weird about her nights out with friends……what’s so important about watching people sing off key and stumble around a dance floor? If you ask me, being with her sweet little Pootie pies would be so much better! Ah, well. There’s no accounting for human taste.
I fully expected this. I told Rico this was going to happen. Mom whips out the cage covers. It’s not enough that she’s leaving us for the evening again, oh no. Now she has to cover us too. Lights out, complete darkness, go to bed, and I’m helpless to do anything about it. Perhaps a small bit of vengeance, perfectly timed, will make me feel better……
2 am….My eye pops open. Did I hear something or was I just dreaming? I shift from one foot to the other. Hmmm. It was probably just the next door neighbors stumbling past the front door. Yes, that must be it No… wait---there it goes again. I hear keys. Oh terrific! The door flies open and here she comes with one of her cronies fresh from the karaoke hut! Raucous laughter ensues. Lights start popping on. More crazed laughter, cups falling, and the TV blaring. Oh, excuse me, it’s not the TV, it’s the stereo. Cell phones and doorbells are ringing and what?! More people?! My night’s rest has been completely violated. I begin a furious session of beak grinding in a vain attempt to soothe myself to sleep again. And it’s not working…..Hmph! Revenge is a dish best served cold (and in the treat bowl)………
11:19 am….I awaken to find my cage is still covered. While most parrots are up and have been enjoying their day for about four hours now, I sit here and wait for the partier to awaken from her beauty sleep. Hey, did I just hear the toilet flushing!? Hooray! Now I only have to stand here another hour or so while Mom staggers around trying to keep her eyes open! The parrot gods must be smiling on me today! (not!)
Mom shuffles to my cage and lifts the cover partially off. She goes, although more quietly than usual, through her entire repertoire of “Oooh! Hello sweetie! I love you. How’s my little man? Did you have a good birdie sleep? Are you my sweet boy? Oh you’re so cute!!! Oh you’re my sweet little pudding pop! Ooooh! Ooooh! Aaaahhhh!!!” And so on and so forth until my little birdy brain is about to explode!
Around noon, Mom has revived herself enough to lift off our cage covers entirely and has finally let us out. She is rubs her head, looking slightly pale. The old girl seems out of sorts today. Could she be suffering from…ah yes---the dreaded, yet ever faithful, hangover! I woo her to my cage with cooing and fluffing and lots of “Gimme kisses!” Oh yes—my love soothes her aching head…..she comes closer and I oblige her with kisses. She allows me onto her shoulder. Poor Mom. She looks so very sick and in so much pain…I almost feel sorry for her…. He he he
As we sit on the sofa, I coo into her ear. It’s just me and Mom, enjoying a sweet moment of peace. I twirl a lock of her hair in my beak. Yes I am her sweet little Poogie pie! She tenderly strokes my feathers and I nibble ever so gently on her ear. I see her eyes close as she drinks in my restful chatter and begins to relax….I am her little green valium, her feathered glass of wine, her shot of ‘old crow’ at the end of a very bad day….. Then, like a banshee from the bowels of hell, I unleash the most hideous scream known to bird kind, directly down her ear canal! I swear I saw her head bulge and her eyes pop! Her surprise is still, however, not complete until the godfather of all morning poops splats onto her shoulder and slides down her back!
Oh yes, revenge is sweet! Even if I am locked in the cage again. HEY! MOM! How about a little “revenge” in my treat bowl!
I let her think I have fallen for the old pine-
She thinks she tricks me, but really I trick her into giving me the pine-
As I head into the cage, I hear the sound of clanking metal and a click as the door locks behind me. I barely get my tail feathers inside and the door slams shut. Geez. She gets so weird about her nights out with friends……what’s so important about watching people sing off key and stumble around a dance floor? If you ask me, being with her sweet little Pootie pies would be so much better! Ah, well. There’s no accounting for human taste.
I fully expected this. I told Rico this was going to happen. Mom whips out the cage covers. It’s not enough that she’s leaving us for the evening again, oh no. Now she has to cover us too. Lights out, complete darkness, go to bed, and I’m helpless to do anything about it. Perhaps a small bit of vengeance, perfectly timed, will make me feel better……
2 am….My eye pops open. Did I hear something or was I just dreaming? I shift from one foot to the other. Hmmm. It was probably just the next door neighbors stumbling past the front door. Yes, that must be it No… wait-
11:19 am….I awaken to find my cage is still covered. While most parrots are up and have been enjoying their day for about four hours now, I sit here and wait for the partier to awaken from her beauty sleep. Hey, did I just hear the toilet flushing!? Hooray! Now I only have to stand here another hour or so while Mom staggers around trying to keep her eyes open! The parrot gods must be smiling on me today! (not!)
Mom shuffles to my cage and lifts the cover partially off. She goes, although more quietly than usual, through her entire repertoire of “Oooh! Hello sweetie! I love you. How’s my little man? Did you have a good birdie sleep? Are you my sweet boy? Oh you’re so cute!!! Oh you’re my sweet little pudding pop! Ooooh! Ooooh! Aaaahhhh!!!” And so on and so forth until my little birdy brain is about to explode!
Around noon, Mom has revived herself enough to lift off our cage covers entirely and has finally let us out. She is rubs her head, looking slightly pale. The old girl seems out of sorts today. Could she be suffering from…ah yes-
As we sit on the sofa, I coo into her ear. It’s just me and Mom, enjoying a sweet moment of peace. I twirl a lock of her hair in my beak. Yes I am her sweet little Poogie pie! She tenderly strokes my feathers and I nibble ever so gently on her ear. I see her eyes close as she drinks in my restful chatter and begins to relax….I am her little green valium, her feathered glass of wine, her shot of ‘old crow’ at the end of a very bad day….. Then, like a banshee from the bowels of hell, I unleash the most hideous scream known to bird kind, directly down her ear canal! I swear I saw her head bulge and her eyes pop! Her surprise is still, however, not complete until the godfather of all morning poops splats onto her shoulder and slides down her back!
Oh yes, revenge is sweet! Even if I am locked in the cage again. HEY! MOM! How about a little “revenge” in my treat bowl!
By Jose Gonzalez
Jose is a male Solomon Island Eclectus Parrot who resides in Anchorage, Ak. with his mom, Yvonne, and his Conure sister, Rico
COCK TALES
Jose’s
Vendetta
Brainiac Block
The StarBird Braniac Block is a stimulating and challenging toy designed with a bird’s physical and mental health in mind. With a stainless steele hook and quick link, the block Is a great way to provide hours of entertainment for your feathery companion. The layers will entice your companion to chew when you insert slices of nut or pumpkin seed, twine, ribbons, corn husks or other small and safe intriguing bits.
The StarBird Braniac Block is a stimulating and challenging toy designed with a bird’s physical and mental health in mind. With a stainless steele hook and quick link, the block Is a great way to provide hours of entertainment for your feathery companion. The layers will entice your companion to chew when you insert slices of nut or pumpkin seed, twine, ribbons, corn husks or other small and safe intriguing bits.
TM
TM
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The StarBird Fine Vine
The woven ball rattles and is just asking to be pounded by a happy beak. There 's a preener at the bottom as an added treat that can be chewed or preened.
The Fine Vine will stimulate your birds to climb, swing and joyously flap their wings in gay abandon as they would in a forest, increasing their agility all the while as they scamper up and down the rope to play and have the time of their life.
Your bird will love the challenge of climbing and pulling out the different fibers that you can easily refill with our packs of
The Bamboolie is a beautiful, intriguing and extraordinary enrichment toy for your bird to enjoy
The StarBird Bamboolie is a fantastic, multi-purpose product that is made of natural bamboo
The trunk is wrapped with abaca rope so that you can hang the Bamboolie horizontally for good
Each bamboo segment has one hole. The piece in the photo is 2 segments long and has two holes.
